Pantyraiders of the 104th
by Seryan Parks
Summary: The top two cadets in the 104th get into some mischief.
1. Chapter 1

Pantyraiders of the 104th

(Like Raiders of the Lost Ark, get it?)

The top two in the 104th get up to some mischief. RiMika, but not that RiMika. ReiMika, shall we say.

Shut up, I'm almost 18 and I can ship who I want.

* * *

"Shh!" Mikasa hissed at Reiner. "Do you want to get us caught?" Reiner tried, ineffectually, to restrain his laughter. "Sorry," he gasped. "It's just… I can't believe that we... Miss Goody Two- Shoes and all..." he trailed off, dissolving again into giggles. Mikasa scoffed inwardly. _This is the last time I let anyone talk me into a game of Truth or Dare._

The two best soldiers of the 104th Trainee Corp were sneaking— or at least, trying to sneak— around the officers' barracks. It was way past lights out, and the halls of the dorm were dimly lit, if they were lit at all. "Are we close?" Reiner questioned quietly.

"Eren swears that it's room 115." Mikasa shrugged her slim shoulders. "I guess he'd know."

That particular door, about halfway down on the left side of the drafty hallway, seemed more sinister than the other doors lining the hall. Perhaps it had picked up some of its tenant's unpleasantness.

"What do we do if he's in there, though?" Reiner asked, looking at the ominous 115 painted on the aged wooden door. He was so overconfident in this that it made Mikasa want to scream.

"Then we are so incredibly fucked. You know what will happen if we're caught, right?" Mikasa glared at her partner in crime. Reiner nodded solemnly.

"Then_ don't get caught_," she hissed.

He mock saluted, thumping his right fist over his chest. "Yes, ma'am."

Mikasa tentatively tried the doorknob. It was locked, of course. "Damn," she cursed under her breath. "Well, we tried. Good night." Mikasa turned to leave.

A strong arm blocked her passage. "No way." Reiner said firmly. "We came this far, we're gonna do what we came for."

Reiner stooped by the doorknob and examined the lock closely. "It's just a basic tumbler lock. Easy pickings." he told her. He rummaged through his pockets, producing several small screwdrivers, a file, and three different skeleton keys. He began trying the skeleton keys in the keyhole.

"Where the hell did you get that stuff?" Mikasa gasped.

Reiner shrugged, a guilty smile on his face. "I'm good in getting into, shall we say, locked rooms. And locked stashes of vintage."

Locked stashes of vintage...? The wheels in Mikasa's head began to spin wildly. "Are you the one who's been stealing Commander Erwin's brandy?"

"Guilty as charged." Reiner admitted, as the door unlocked with a quiet snick sound. He quietly— oh, so quietly— opened the door to Captain Levi's room.

The window's drapes had not been closed, so the half- moon gave a little light to see by. Mikasa saw their quarry— the dresser— on the wall opposite the door.

She also saw Levi in his bed. Her eyes widened in panic, and she tried to telepathically communicate to Reiner that they should abort the mission.

Reiner, however, shook his head. His message was clear, even without ESP: _No turning back now._

Mikasa shrugged, and was about to enter Levi's room, when Reiner stopped her again. He pointed to his feet, which no longer wore boots. He indicated that she should remove her own boots so as to be quieter. Mikasa threw up her hands as if to say _fine_ and tugged her boot off as silently as she could.

Sock-footed, Mikasa tiptoed after Reiner. He had already reached the dresser, his hands on the knobs of the top drawer. He took a silent breath and shot Mikasa a glance that said, _Well, here goes nothing_. She bobbed her head, indicating that he should begin.

Reiner slid the top drawer out as stealthily as he could, but the wooden drawer made a chafing noise as it was pulled along. _Great_, Mikasa thought, looking at Levi's slumbering body. _He'll hear us and we'll get caught. So this is how I die._

Reiner sharply exhaled. The top drawer contained nothing but those dumb cravats that Levi always wore. Reiner slowly slid the drawer back into its place, while Mikasa worriedly watched Levi, praying that he wouldn't wake up.

The second drawer was also a disappointment. Instead of the thing Reiner and Mikasa had hoped to find, the second drawer held only impeccably folded pants.

Reiner was getting frustrated. He put the drawer back in place, but not as quietly as he had before. The gentle _thump_ seemed as loud as a crash of thunder or a Titan's footsteps, or maybe both. Mikasa held her breath, hoping that the captain wouldn't wake up...

Levi turned over in his sleep, and in his new position, Mikasa could see that he wasn't alone in his bed. Petra Ral slumbered beside him. Oh. If that was the case, then maybe the two officers would be too... worn out... to wake up. However, Mikasa wasn't about to get her hopes up.

Reiner had also seen who was sharing Levi's bed, and he was struggling not to laugh. His shoulders shook silently as he tried to regain his composure. He clapped a hand over his mouth to prevent a sound from escaping.

Mikasa rolled her eyes and pushed him out of her way. She tried the third drawer, hoping against hope that this would be the drawer so she could get of of Levi's room. But alas, the third drawer contained pajamas and socks. _Does he even wear_—

Her thoughts were interrupted with a rustling sound from the bed. Reiner immediately sobered up, crouching next to Mikasa. Together, they opened the fourth drawer— trying the whole time to minimize the chafing sound of the wooden drawer on the wooden frame— and peeked inside.

The fourth drawer did not contain what they were looking for. Instead, it was the home of several aprons and dusting rags. _Who keeps this stuff in their dresser?_ Reiner's confused expression asked. Mikasa shrugged in reply.

Mikasa and Reiner opened the fifth and final drawer as quietly as possible. And there, thank God, was their quarry, the things that they had quite literally risked their lives for. Reiner began grabbing them and stuffing them down his shirt, while Mikasa worriedly watched the two figures on the bed. The rustling hadn't stopped.

Reiner closed the drawer with as much speed as he could while not making a noise. Mikasa mouthed, Let's get out of here! Reiner nodded vigorously. The two cadets quickly tiptoed out of the captain's bedroom, Mikasa making sure to lock the door and pull it closed behind them.

They were out of Levi's room, but the two cadets weren't clear yet. Mikasa tugged on boots, while Reiner tried to make the contraband under his shirt less noticeable. When satisfied that the bulk would be mistaken for his own, and not that of stolen clothing, Reiner pulled on his own boots. "Now we have to get out of the officers' barracks without getting caught," Mikasa muttered.

Reiner and Mikasa quickly made their way through the halls of the officers' quarters, trying their best not to look guilty as they made their escape. They had come to an intersection of hallways when suddenly Reiner, who was in front, stopped short. Mikasa ran smack into the huge blonde's back. "What?" she whispered, rubbing her injured nose. "Why'd you stop?"

She didn't like his answer. "I don't remember coming this way. I don't know how to get out."

"...Fuck."

"Yeah."

Mikasa and Reiner stood at the intersection for several minutes, while Reiner peered this way and that, trying to figure out how to escape. After several heart- pounding minutes, he finally nodded. "This way," he said, grabbing Mikasa's hand and pulling her down the hall to the right. "You remember the way?" she asked.

"No," Reiner replied. "But I smell food."

"Reiner, this is no time to be thinking of your stomach!" Mikasa snapped.

"You didn't let me finish! I was saying, I smell food, so this way must lead to the kitchen. And the kitchen opens outside..."

"...because they have to haul in water from the central well! Good thinking."

"I know," he smiled cockily.

Sure enough, the top two soldiers in the 104th came upon the darkened kitchen, which still smelled of soup and that awful excuse for coffee that was the staple of soldiers in the Survey Corps. And as Reiner said, there was a door in the kitchen that showed moonlight peeking in from outside. They burst through the door and into the cool spring night.

Reiner heaved a sigh of relief. "Well." he said after a moment. "Part One is completed."

Mikasa nodded in agreement. "Part Two should be much easier."

"You can say that again."

"Okay. Let's hurry up. I want to actually get some sleep tonight." Mikasa headed towards the trainee barracks, Reiner close behind her.

They were almost to the barracks— in fact, they were next to an outbuilding that served as a second mess hall— when they heard voices. And not just any voices. These particular voices belonged to Erwin Smith and Hanji Zoe, who were two people Reiner and Mikasa did _not_ want to run into right now. Mikasa stopped short. Erwin and Hanji were just beyond the next building— Mikasa could see their shadows from around the corner. She looked at Reiner. "What do we do?" she whispered.

Reiner's mind worked quickly, and immediately presented him with a solution. He wasted no time acting upon it. He pulled Mikasa around to face him, snaked his arms around her neck, whispered 'play along' and then put his lips on hers...

...exactly as Erwin and Hanji rounded the corner.

"— all I'm saying, Hanji, is that..." Erwin's voice suddenly trailed off. "Well, would you look at that. Cadets out after curfew."

"Shh, they'll hear you, Erwin." Hanji whispered.

Erwin lowered his voice. "They're violating curfew— "

"Loosen up. Let the kids have a little fun. God knows they could use it."

"There's no time for 'fun' in the Corps," Erwin muttered darkly.

"Pull that blade out of your ass, Erwin." Hanji chided, pulling him along. "Carry on, kids."

When the two superior officers were out of sight, Reiner pulled back. Mikasa's eyes were wide and she looked shocked, and her normally pale faced blushed a violet shade of scarlet. _What, has she never been kissed before?_ he wondered.

Finally she spoke. "Um. Okay. We should finish Part Two."

"You're right. To the flagpole." Reiner was glad that it was dark enough that Mikasa could not see his smirk. He took more pleasure out of flustering the unfluster-able Mikasa that he was willing to admit.

They made their way to the flagpoles that the cadets' barracks surrounded. One flew the Wings of Freedom of the Survey Corps; the other flew the faces Maria, Rose, and Sina that symbolized humanity. Reiner and Mikasa each took a flagpole and lowered the flags in silence. Reiner didn't mind the quiet, but Mikasa was almost panicking. She had always thought that kisses were between family members, lovers, friends. She and Reiner were friends, but friends didn't kiss like _that_, did they?

His voice interrupted her thoughts. "What are we going to do with the flags?" Reiner asked.

"Leave the flags on." Mikasa fought to keep her voice even. "Put the... the things... underneath."

"All right."

The silence eventually became too much for Mikasa. "Was that, uhm, the only idea you could come up with?"

He didn't answer for a moment. "Yes." he finally said. "I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

"No! I mean, it wasn't bad, or, I mean, not that..."

Reiner decided it was cruel to let the normally dignified girl trip all over her words. "Hey, no problem. And no one has to know if you don't want them to, okay?"

Mikasa was visibly relieved. "Yeah. Thanks."

The two soldiers raised the flags quickly, then stood back, admiring their work by the light of the half moon. "It's beautiful." Reiner commented. "We did good work."

"I think Levi will disagree." Mikasa laughed. "Come on, it's way late, and I actually wanna get some sleep."

" 'Kay. Good night, Mikasa," Reiner called as she made her way to the girls' dorm.

"Good night, Reiner," she called back.

Reiner and Mikasa went to bed that night imagining everyone's expressions in the morning when they saw Captain Levi's boxers fluttering in the morning breeze.


	2. Chapter 2

Heyyy so doing this instead of history homework, slowly but surely converting people to my OTP. Yay, procrastination! Aaand everyone should know that is your wonderful reviews and requests that made this second chapter possible. You all deserve guess what? There's gonna be another chapter or two- you guys hounded me into it. Aaand there will be another chapter. Yay~

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Levi was not fucking amused. He was not amused at all. Whichever one of those snot nosed brats did this would pay for it. And they would pay dearly, Levi would make sure of that. They would be begging for a Titan to eat them. "

It wasn't Eren." Levi was pulled out of his daydream of making the guilty party clean the stables with a toothbrush by Petra's words.

"What?" "

It wasn't Eren," the ginger-haired girl repeated.

"How the fuck can you possibly know that?" Levi snapped. Petra smiled, too used to Levi to be offended by his brusque attitude anymore. "Well… for starters, this is a sneaky plan. Eren's not sneaky."

Levi pondered this for a moment. "Fair enough," he conceded. "What's your second point?" "

It ties into the first one. Whoever did this had to sneak into your room last night and steal your underwear, then sneak back out and hang them from the flagpole. All without anyone catching them. It's sneaky and cunning. And Eren's just… not."

"It could still be him." Levi said obstinately.

Petra shook her head. "You just don't like him and want to blame him because you don't like him." Levi did not confirm or deny this statement. "Well, then who?" he finally asked.

"Simple. Process of elimination," Petra replied, and Levi remembered why he brought her into his squad: clear, rational thinking, in addition to the requisite battle skills. "We're reasonably sure that the perpetrator is a cadet, right?" Levi tried to imagine Gunter or Hanji stringing his underwear up on the flagpoles. Instead he wound up with a mental image of Hanji wearing his boxers on her head. He shuddered involuntarily. "Reasonably sure."

"Okay, then, which cadet? Who would have the guts and ability to pull this off?"

* * *

Across the Survey Corps base, Eren was just as pissed off as Levi was. He was sparring with Reiner today, which was nothing unusual. Normally, Eren enjoyed testing himself against the huge blonde. Normally. Today, Reiner couldn't focus to save his life. He was constantly looking over his shoulder and smirking to himself, while taking Eren's hits. It annoyed Eren- how could he train to be a better soldier when his opponent wouldn't take him seriously?

Finally, Eren followed Reiner's gaze, just to see what had him so distracted. Reiner was watching Mikasa, who was also off her game today. Mikasa was sparring with Sasha, who was excellent at hand-to-hand combat, good enough to actually beat Mikasa a few times, but the expression on Sasha's face made it clear that she was as exasperated as Eren with her partner's lack of motivation. Mikasa looked up and happened to catch Reiner's eye. To Eren's absolute shock, he winked at her. And Mikasa blushed! She almost tripped over her own feet.

Eren had finally seen enough. "Reiner, what the hell?" Reiner jerked around, seeming to notice Eren's presence for the first time.

"Uhm, what?"

"You've been staring at Mikasa all morning and smiling to yourself. You just fucking winked at my sister." Eren glared. Reiner tried to look innocent, but failed miserably. An involuntary (at least, Eren hoped it was) grin splashed across his face.

"What? Nooo. No way, dude." Mikasa noticed the confrontation between the two males. Abandoning her match with Sasha, she made her way over to them. But instead of chastising Eren as expected, she turned her wrath upon Reiner. She grabbed him by the jacket collar, yanked him down to her level, and hissed, "What are you telling him!?"

Reiner started laughing. It was almost giggling, but Reiner was too… Reiner-y to giggle. "Nothing, I swear!" he choked out. "Unless you…" here Reiner waggled his eyebrows, "wanted me to te-"

"NO."

"Tell me what?" Eren was getting worried. Mikasa told him everything. "

You're not helping anything, Reiner! You're absolutely awful at keeping secrets!"

"Really? Because there's one tidbit I was going to take to the grave, but maybe Eren should know..."

"I should know what?" Eren asked, but Reiner and Mikasa talked right over him. The loud discussion was drawing several curious cadets.

"I swear on my parents' grave, if you say anything I will end you in the worst way possible." Mikasa warned. Reiner held up his hands on mock surrender. "Calm down, Mikasa. I didn't say anything. I don't break promises."

"Really? Because it sounded to me like-"

Reiner cut her off. "How could you even hear anything? You were way over there-"

"Were you saying something that I should have heard?" Mikasa snapped.

"No! For the love of fuck, just calm down-" "

Don't you tell me what to do." Reiner's patience was growing thin. "You seemed fine with me telling you what to do last night."

Several mouths dropped open. Eren was debating whether to demand answers from Mikasa or kill Reiner first, and then ask questions. The silence stretched on for what seemed like cruel hours, though it was really only about five seconds. Mikasa threw up her hands. "You are so goddamn difficult, Reiner Braun!" she cried, storming away

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also guys you should watch this watch?v=buOaks_sLQg


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